My first posting

Well, I 've decided I wanted to start a blog. It seems alot of people have one so what the hell!

Where do I start?

Well, I love being a mom...Alyse is so wonderful. I never thought I would enjoy being a mother this much. I was so wrapped up in myself for so many yrs, although there were lessons to be learned. I am such a better person for it. Alyse just amazes me how much she learns everyday. I can't even keep up with it all. You know how they have those books that you fill in their firsts? Well I could never keep up with it b/c Alyse just learns so quickly. I am so sad in some ways that her 1st bday is around the corner b/c she will slowly become a child..and not my little baby anymore, but then again...I'm excited too.

I was a wk late...thought I was pregnant, but I'm not. Got my period about an hr ago. Just a smidge disappointed, but mostly relieved. I'm not ready yet...

Brad is going thru so much with the business. I do love living here, but I feel like maybe we should have never taken that business. Maybe we should have just come up here on our own terms. It's so terrible b/c it's so hard for me to have a relationship with my in-laws. uggh...like Jane called tonite & I could hardly talk to her b/c I am so angry at the way they treat their own son. I know once we get thru all this bullshit with his dad, the business will be something good in our lives, but right now...well truthfully it just sucks. Poor Brad..I just hope he stands up to his father. He's such a jerk.

My sister is still missing. It makes me sad. I don't know when I will ever see her again. I'm sure I will some day, but it makes me mad too that she could do this to all of us. She is so wrapped up into this loser guy. I thought he was ok, but I was not a good judge of character this time. Actually I did think he drank too much when I met him & thought he may be a bad influence but I never imagined him to be what he really is...if that makes any sense. I just hope Jen is safe & doesn't feel trapped somewhere...like she can't come home.

Going to visit my mom next week I think since i didn't make it there this wk. I have fun visiting with her, it's just getting my butt in gear to get there. It's a lot of work packing everything. I know she enjoys our visits tremendously. I am glad that she if following up with her doc appts. She really needs to.

Well, probably should get to bed. I was up talking to my DS friends in our private little community. What great girls they are....and I just love my cding ...it's fun & an obsession at the same time.

Oh and the lunar eclipse was tonight...very cool although I saw it alone..well on the phone with my mom.